Learning...

On the eve of the last day of school, Taryn had a lesson to be learned. This was not a lesson that was going to take place in the classroom. This was not a lesson for which I had any plans outlined. It is one of many lessons that will be learned in her life. In order to learn, mistakes are often made. It is the hope of every parent alive, that the little lessons along the way can help prevent a more painful lesson down the road. Tonight's lesson was about TRUST.

The Sokoloski Family loves to visit the Pendleton Aquatic Center. The aquatic center is visited daily for many weeks of the summer. All the Sokoloski girls have spent their summers splashing around in the water. There are a number of rules that were established, from the beginning, to ensure safety and a good time for the entire Sokoloski Family.

• Sunscreen, a must for our brood of blondies.
• Permission to leave the splash pool is required!
• Snacks from the snack bar are a rare treat.
• No dive pool or lap pool without adult supervision.
• No running.
• No hot tub.

Most of the rules are self explanatory. We don't want sunburns. We don't want to panic if we can't find you. The snacks are expensive. None of the girls are strong enough swimmers to be in the deep pools alone. The edge of the pool is slippery when wet. Who knows what type of germs fester in that hot tub AND it is often filled with dirty talking teenagers.



It is the last rule that was the basis of the lesson.



This is not a new rule. Basically, if you are too cold to swim, then it is time to go home. There have been significant whining episodes over this rule. I realize that none of their limbs would likely fall off, no prescription medicines would need to be administered if they soaked their bodies, and far greater crimes could be committed. However, it is a rule, a Sokoloski Family rule.



Washington Elementary visits the Pendleton Aquatic Center once a year. For the last two years the weather has been terrible. Last week it was discussed MANY times at the dinner table with Grace, that no matter how cold it got at the pool, that the hot tub was still OFF LIMITS. I reminded her that I would be at the pool the entire time she was there. (Have I ever mentioned that she is my kid that steps over the line?)



Anyway, pool day comes and Grace and Reagan's classes were at the pool with my class and I enjoyed watching them swim and their lips turn blue. Reagan finally decided it wasn't worth it and got dressed. Grace decide to pour on the WHINE and beg to get in the hot tub for 'just a minute.' I stuck to my guns and she obeyed.



Taryn's class got to the pool an hour before we left. I sat with Taryn huddled under a fleece blanket. She had NO desire to get wet. It was cold. It was windy. It wasn't worth it. It was time for third grade to leave. Fourth & Fifth grade would follow two hours later.

Taryn came home and when asked, said she didn't go in the pool because she didn't want to be cold. End of story, right? Wrong. I know you know where this is going...but this is how it unfolded.

I was picking up the mud room and emptying back packs for the new week. I came across one that still had a wet towel and wet suit from the pool day. It wasn't Grace's. It wasn't Reagan's. I knew...I immediately knew what had happened.

So, tonight, at our local Tuesday hot spot - Denny's (Kid's Eat Free Tuesday!) I began the lesson.

So Taryn, I have to ask you something, and I want you to remember that honesty is the best policy. I also want you to remember, anytime I start a conversation like this, I probably already know the answer.

She nodded.

Did you go in the hot tub on the swim day?

She nodded.



So you waited until after I left because you knew you it was against our rule to go in the hot tub?



She nodded.



Well I'm really disappointed. I'm not mad. Mad might be easier. If I was mad, I could just forgive you and be done with it, but when you are disappointed, that is just hard.



She nodded.



You know Taryn, trust is hard to get back. Trust is when I know you will make the right choice even if I'm not watching. Even if you know I'll never find out.



She nodded.



You are going to make mistakes. I still make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. But when you make a bad choice, and you know it is a bad choice, it doesn't feel good. This doesn't feel very good does it?



She shook her head. I'm sorry mom.



I know you are. I just want you to know that no one told me about this. I found your wet suit. I figured it out. But we live in a small town for a reason. You go to my school for a reason. People are watching you, and I will probably always find out eventually.



She nodded.



Dad - But Taryn, remember, telling the truth is the most important part. Accepting responsibility, that's big, because if you don't, then there will be BIG trouble.



A Penny Thought: Teaching life lessons are not all that fun. It is hard to look at your child, with crocodile tears welling in their eyes, and hold a line. It would have been so much easier, this week especially, to let this slide. She didn't know that I knew that she broke the rule. But I hope and pray, that this one little lesson was just enough to give her pause, somewhere down the line, when she has a choice to make. This choice really was a little one, but in the eyes of a kid, other little choices might come with a lifetime of consequence.

The party!

Eight is Great!

The goodie bags: Silly string, water bottle, glow necklaces,

flashlights, birdhouses, gum, bubbles, and a tote.

Before the surprise -

Almost there!

Surprise:

The RED cheeks:

Beading necklaces in the tent.

Painting bird houses.

Silly String Fight!

(My personal favorite.)

Roasting marshmallows.

(Hmm...maybe this one was my favorite.)

My favorite card!

Grace Penny Thoughts for the night:

This was the best birthday ever!
So that's why you were cleaning the basement last night.

In response to the fact that she doesn't like surprises or to have people looking at her, "I do like it mom, I just have to get used to it." *See this post for more on the topic.

The big day...

Eight is great! On June 6th, Grace turned 8! The day began with a very chilly visit to the Pendleton Aquatic Center with her class. Though the temperatures for the day never hit 60, it didn't keep her out of the water. She continues to be my little water bug.



When she returned to school it was time to pass out treats to her class. We brought pudding cups with whipped cream and sprinkles on top. The treats were a big hit with her class. It was during treat time that I learned something about my daughter that seems so obvious now, but had not occurred to me until now. I asked her when she was done passing out the treats if she was ready for us to sing Happy Birthday to her. SHE SAID NO! She did NOT want anyone singing to her. As her teacher got the classes attention for the singing, we asked if it would be OK to simply say, on three, Happy Birthday Grace. Everyone was happy, thank-yous chorused, and pudding disappeared.



How did I not know this about Grace? She is not comfortable being in the spotlight. She is very uncomfortable with all eyes on her. I'm guessing this missed my mommy radar, because it is so not me. I get it now, I really do, I am just sad it took me so long to figure out. She loves calling attention to herself, but only if it is by her doings. It makes sense why spilled milk at a restaurant is so traumatic, while at home she barely bats an eye. I am sure this was a moment I'll never forget...it was so easy, it was so in front of my eyes the entire time, but I'd missed it.



UH-OH : BIG PROBLEM



Prior to my big revelation about Grace I had planned an elaborate Surprise Birthday Party to occur in less than 3 hours. I was afraid that the coming events could be a train wreck leading to her worst birthday ever!



I decided not to abandon the total surprise, but was able to talk to her 6 little friends in the tent before she arrived...letting them know that Grace might need a few minutes to adjust once she realized what was happening. I was still nervous.



With the crummy weather...we set up our camping party indoors. (This was one rare day I was happy to have an unfinished basement.) We set up a tent in the play room and zipped it closed. Grace came in...and handled the surprise pretty well. She turned so red I thought her head might explode. Then she needed to be redirected quickly to the craft table with her friends so the spotlight was over...it took about 10 minutes for her face to return to it's normal color.

My Pioneer Girl

I'd like to introduce you to Laura Swanson. She is 35 years old, married to Albert and has 3 children. Her oldest son, John, is 13 years old. Max is 10 years old, followed by her youngest daughter, six-year old Danni.

Laura just made it to Oregon by way of the Hacker Valley Trail. Along the way she encountered poisonous snakes, death, rabies, and friendly Indians. The highlight of her journey was being Wagon Master and making it to Oregon with no deaths in her family. Her husband lost his big toe to a snake. Poor guy.

When arriving in Oregon on June 4th, they celebrated with Pioneer Activities including:

• tin punching
• cleaning roots
• square dancing
• quilting
• pioneer food

I believe this will be a journey 'Laura' never forgets. I remember my own trip across the Oregon Trail in 1980.

As great of a learning experience this was, I am SO HAPPY it is over. You see, as mother of Taryn, I was quizzed on a daily basis, "Should I get rid of my dutch oven or my yoke repair kit?" and "Do you think I need more dried beans or more gun powder?" My reply was always the same, "I can't tell you, because if you die because I told you to throw something out of the wagon, you'd never forgive me!"

My darling Taryn informed me at 4:05 pm the night before her Pioneer Day that 'Laura' would really like to be able to wear real pioneer clothes to school. After a brief moment of panic, then the realization that with even 2 weeks notice, I would wait until the last minute to get started, I began sewing. Now I will be prepared when the next two girls are in 4th grade and are crossing the Oregon Trail.

What it means...

If you live in Pendleton, ya gotta be a BUCKAROO. It doesn't matter if you bleed Black and Orange...around here Green and Gold is what it is all about. My students are going to flip out tomorrow when they see me.

They are going to say...

"You have Duck braces..."

and I'll say, "Yep, go BUCKS!"

And they'll say... "No, I said Ducks."

And I'll say, "Yeah, I know...Go BUCKS."

Have I mentioned I love messing with third graders.

In honor of May 30th ... a.k.a. "Team Johnson Day" ... I am stepping out of my comfort zone and bringing on the Green and Gold. I know the day is going to be a huge success. -Walt is on his way home to be surrounded by friends and family. We are all excited to be stepping up our Pendleton Pride to help support one of our finest!

A Penny Thought: REGARDLESS of what my braces look like...BEAVERS RULE and DUCKS DROOL...but so do I with this mouth of metal. I also have developed a whistle that resembles a lisp when I read aloud. Oh bother!

Our Friend in Need

When Marc and I first moved to Pendleton, we were newlyweds, we were pregnant, and we were starting our life as we now know it. We moved here in the middle of a huge ice storm in the gorge.


Marc was stepping into a similar position with his job at Farmer's Insurance. I was beginning a job that I hated from day one as a telephone-long distance-Internet sales person. We had no friends.


Spring came and we joined the Round Up Athletic Club as well as the Pendleton Country Club. Right away Marc started making connections on the golf course and at the noon basketball game at the RAC.


He came home one day and told me he had invited a couple and their 2 year-old son to dinner that weekend. He'd made a Montana connection...and I was thrilled to have someone coming to dinner that had a small child. I was getting so excited about becoming a mom. Before the weekend arrived I met a wonderful girl, (I still consider us girls, too...women makes us sound old), named Stacey. As we were visiting we made an immediate connection. She was an OSU grad...a mom...and as it turns out...was the same girl that already had a dinner date at my house for the weekend.


Marc met Walt...I met Stacey...and a lifetime friendship began. Their son Connor was adorable and charmed his way into our hearts immediately. When his baby sister Caitlin was born, we were honored to stand as her Godparents at her baptism.


We've shared holidays, birthdays, OSU wins, OSU losses, Round-Up's, Rainbow adventures, etc. Now we are ready to stand up and share another experience with our friends! We are uniting with their family, other friends and the community. The Johnson's have a fight on their hands.


About a year ago Walt was diagnosed with Squamous Cell Carcinoma (malignant skin cancer) on his ankle. He had surgery and was ready to close that chapter when complications arose. After months of having pain and swelling with no medical answers the doctors have again found cancer. He has currently been at OHSU for over two weeks. Chemotherapy begins tomorrow.


Walt has a link on the Caring Bridge site that Stacey updates frequently. It is inspirational to read the guestbook. So many people love this family as much as we do. The prayers that are being sent out on their behalf will make a difference, we all believe that. The Johnson's are strong in their faith. They know they are not alone on this journey. They are ready, and so are we!

Coach Johnson:Photo by Rob Bynam EOSPN.Com

There will be a fundraiser this weekend. A Tailgate BBQ lunch with all proceeds benefiting the family. Another fundraiser will be held on Friday, May 30th. This will also be a BBQ dinner with an added silent and live auction. Donation of items are welcome. If you are hungry Saturday, come by and grab a hot dog or hamburger. If you or anyone you know would like to make a donation of an item or cash, please let me know and I will send you in the right direction.

Happy Birthday Dad

(The girls got these for Grandpa and he was happy to pose.)

It is my dad's birthday today. I didn't get to spend the day with him...I didn't get to send him his birthday treats...but I thought of him often today and I did share 'flu' battle stories on the phone with him tonight. I wish I was better saying aloud my feelings, but I guess in that category, I'm a chip off the 'ole block. Here it is 11:30 pm, your birthday is about over, and I'll get in trouble for burning the candle at both ends of the wick...but I want you to know...


You have taught me so much about living a life of character. You always give more than you take. You never give up and don't complain about the cards you are dealt, the rains that come too fast or never at all. I know that a very few do the work for many. It is important to stand up for yourself. When you make choices in life they reflect on those around you, so make sure they are choices you can be proud of. I've always known that you were my safety net if I was in danger, but you'd let me fall to learn a life lesson. I'm learning each day how hard that is for a parent.

I'll never forget the day I was so excited to talk 'A Few Good Men' with you...I was proud that you were in the military...that you fought for our country. Though I don't remember your exact words, I'm sure they were brief, but a quote from the movie summed it up, "You want the truth, you can't handle the truth." I was so caught up in the Hollywood of it all, I didn't take time to think about what that meant to you. It wasn't all glory...you paid a price...for our country. You fought, you served, you trained, and you taught me that you'd do it again, but it wasn't all that Tom Cruise portrayed in his movies. I learned that I will probably never completely know the impact it had on your life. I hope you know, that even though it goes unsaid most of the time, your entire family is proud of the life you chose to live.

My favorite role of yours to-date, has to be that of Grandfather. I melt watching my girls with you. You had, what I considered, pretty big shoes to fill, those left by your father. He was a pretty dynamic grandpa. You, however, have outgrown those shoes and set a cast that may break records. The tractor rides, the 4-wheeler rides, the shoulder rides. The gift of love you give to my girls is a gift that we all feel is priceless.

If I could bottle a 'feeling' or a moment from my childhood it would be of us walking hand-in-hand. I remember how you would always lift me up, right before I was going to trip. There would be a moment of panic, fear of falling, that would suddenly turn to joy of being lifted, by your strong hands, over the rocks or invisible rocks that I had stumbled over.

Happy Birthday Dad. You continue to lift me up in more ways than you will ever know!
I love you!